(remember to click a sponsor please.... pretty please? I'd like to put myself through college with writing rather than stripping.)
It’s just one of those moments that I need to rant for a bit. I should be reading right now. Like 200 pages worth of reading, but can’t seem to convince myself to pick up the damned book. Not that it isn’t good. I just haven’t had time and I’ve been getting discouraged when I DO have time.
I realize why I came back to school, and understand the importance in being here, and yes I’m enjoying the challenge of it at times…. But then, some of the challenge is in all of the wrong places. For example, I seem to understand all of the information the teachers are giving us, but don’t seem to understand the 50 different formats that they want us to respond through. I understand WWII but don’t understand how to insert and utilize “footnotes” when composing my response…. I understand art, but don’t understand why we are being taught Plato in an art class…. I know how to write an persuasive essay, but don’t understand why you are making me dumb down my writing style to a generic high school level.
I also realize that just starting out again, I have to get all of these cruddy “basic” classes out of the way that, let’s face it, are just “review” for the fresh out of high school students. And to ease the non-traditionals in. I have to have patience. But meanwhile it feels like I came here to find knowledge and inspiration do something great with my life, and thus far, all it’s REALLY done is inspire and frustrate me, simply for the fact that I don’t have enough time to accomplish half of the things it’s inspired me for.
Example: With all I’ve reviewed and the new angles I’ve learned to utilize to look at politics and history, as well as the applications from my Individual and Society class, I have a GREAT short story I REALLY think would be successful and hard hitting. …….And with the exception of my ONE blog post, (aside from this 10 minute jaunt) I have Zilch down on paper. For SO long, before coming here, I lacked inspiration to write. I wanted to want to. I had ideas to use. But I didn’t have that special “fire” to move my pen to. That PASSION behind the words that kept me interested enough to know that my readers would be interested as well.
But worse, I’m falling behind. I have SO much reading to get done, essays, performances, speeches…. And now work has increased the number of hours that they need me. …clean clothes may become a problem, though I did have a friend offer by way of casual conversation last night to come do my laundry for me after hearing my predicament. (Thanks Ken.) :P
The good news is, at least I LIKE this job for the moment. I’m a fracking ROCK STAR there. Now that I’m actually working IN the bakery department I’m respected, looked up to, and basically running the show until the supervisor gets things a little more underway. I have every faith she’s going to be a great supervisor BTW. Right now, we’re just in the set up phase, but it made me realize all the more, “I could do this.” I could TOTALLY open my own bakery, have it be a smashing success, and hardly break a sweat over it. I have the organizational, inventory, and routine skills, down!
The issue is really just TIME. Speaking of which, time to read, and get to writing that paragraph or so before morning. Goodnight all!